How may you deflower me? Let me count the ways…

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Bathroom quickie, my POV in the mirror!

 

In honor of my upcoming 30th birthday, I’m taking count of what I’ve learned, lost and gained thus far and decided to share a bit of my remembrance with you all. I married my husband in the “fourth quarter, Hail Mary” portion of my 20’s and in that short year and a half I gave him a shit ton of my firsts, my “cherries” so to speak. Here is a list of all of the ways my husband deflowered me in my 20’s:

  • Fucked my ass
  • Licked my ass
  • Double penetration (one was a toy)
  • Triple penetration (two were toys. Nuff said)
  • Orgasm from oral
  • First squirt (and countless subsequent squirting. Show off)
  • Ball-gagged
  • Home-made porn
  • tattoo
  • marriage
  • motherhood (step-mother currently, first pregnancy hopefully soon)
  • first enema
  • first facial (and yes E. I am telling you the truth. Never had a pearl necklace or earrings or anything else “pearl-ish” above the neck before you. Thanks for the pearls!!)

Toys, Chains and How I First Squirted

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When I first met E. I thought I was a freak, and uninhibited in the bedroom. While it’s true that I had no inhibitions (regarding my experiences thus far), I quickly found out how wrong I was about my freak status. Looking back over the last year and a half, I learned so many surprising things about myself. Here are 5 discoveries I recently made:

1. I enjoy being dominant on occasion.  I’m naturally submissive in most facets of my life, and when my husband casually mentioned he likes to be dominated once in awhile I froze. It kind of scared the shit out of me because I had no idea where to begin. I thought it would feel fake or forced, to project a persona that I simply didn’t possess. But I wanted to please him. So I lifted my chin, pulled out our flogger, bound his wrists together and began whipping him. Turns out, I kind of like it.

2. I love my ass being licked.  The first time E. licked my asshole I was both horrified and embarrassed. He sneak attacked me under the covers one night, and I immediately clenched up and forbid him to do that again without permission. Over the next couple weeks he slowly eased me into being comfortable enough to both A) Admit that I liked it and B) Push my ass into his face in lieu of asking for it directly. So ladies (or gents), take my advice. As a former anal virgin myself, you won’t regret trying this one. It just feels so fucking good.

3. Sex toys for couples are fucking fun.   Pre-husband, I’d bought and owned exactly one sex toy my whole life. A nondescript pink vibrator, about as standard as you can get for beginners’ toys. My new favorites include cock rings, nipple clamps and anal beads, depending on my mood. Who knew that toys WITH a partner were so enjoyable?!  Laugh if you want, but believe me, I’m making up for lost time.

4. I deeply enjoy the feel of chains.   I knew that I liked to be restrained, but I never would have guessed how sexy those heavy chains felt draped across my naked body. Even when they were only placed for aesthetic (as opposed to restraint) something about the weight turns me on and makes me feel like a sex goddess. Every time.

5. I am a squirter.  Until my husband happily proved me wrong, I legit thought that squirting was a myth invented by porn directors. I mean, I’ve always been a multiple-orgasm girl, so if it hadn’t happened by now it probably was fake….right? Nope. Wrong-o. My husband can make me squirt on command, and his record so far (he would insist I point out) is 6 consecutive.

Now that I’ve disclosed my dirty deets, share with me your own! There is always something to learn, and I’m ready to be schooled.

Interview With a Man-Freak

 

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THE FREAKY HUSBAND TELLS ALL:

AN UNFILTERED AND SURPRISINGLY INFORMATIVE INTERVIEW

Q: So think back to the very beginning. What was it that first attracted you to me?              A: “Your smile, and your pretty face. I liked that you were hard to get, the ‘untouchable girl’ and I wanted to get to know you. Which was very strange, I’ve never really particularly cared to get to know a hot girl more than I wanted to fuck her. Especially because I was 22 when we met. Also, I knew and liked your mom.”

Q: Aww… also ouch. For all those other girls (FYI, he isn’t as rude as that sounded. He’s actually kinda sweet).  So fast forward 10 years….what surprised you the most about me in bed?                                                                                                                                 A: “That you had never had anal sex (at 28) and I assumed you were lying about it at first. Most girls at that point have had SOME kind of/level of ass play at ALL. You know, just the tip. Something. I was surprised you hadn’t.”

Q: What do I do in bed that turns you on the most?                                                                             A: “Well your pretty face for one. Also, I love the way you show me that I can have whatever I want whenever I want. That turns me on.”

Q: How exactly do I show you that? (its true btw. Its his when he wants it)                               A: “You make suggestive comments while we are out in public that only I can hear. You act like a pretty little housewife until we’re behind closed doors.”

Q: What do you secretly wish I would do more of in bed?                                                         A: “Depends on my mood..if I’m feeling extra freaky I want my ass licked more, and more bondage. If I’m feeling romantic I wish you would let me hold out for longer amounts of time. You always make me finish too soon when I’m feeling lovey (also true btw. I love feeling him come inside me and actively encourage it). I also wish we watched more porn together, but only when you’re in the right mood also..otherwise it’s no fun.”

Q: Is there a particular personality type/quality other than physical that attracts you to a woman?                                                                                                                                                     A: ” Fun, for sure, They have to be fun. Also they need to be classy, and carry themselves well. I can’t stand an obnoxious attention-seeker.”

Q: What calls to you more, a hot body or a beautiful face?                                                                  A: “Face for sure. But body is important too. I’m particular.”

Q: What, if anything, do I do in bed that you dislike and haven’t yet told me?                                 A: “Surprisingly, nothing. It’s never awkward with us, the dirty talk is just right and your sex-noise levels are perfect.”

Q: We have agreed that neither of us is the other’s typical “type” we expected to end up with. What about my so-called “yuppie” type were you surprised to learn and like about me?                                                                                                                                                             A: “You are so much more relatable and down-to-earth than I was expecting.  Not just you but your family, I expected you to be much more high maintenance and snobby, but you aren’t. I like that.”

Q: Do you ever miss any of the parts of my naive and inexperienced former self?                           A: “No. it was awesome to get to be the one to experience everything new with you. And to be the man to blow your fucking mind.”

 

 

Nailed it!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Why God Wants You to Seduce Your Husband — Biblical Gender Roles

Most Christian wives today are taught that their husbands must earn sex with them by romancing them. What if the Bible taught the opposite? What if wives were required to seduce their husbands? I know it sounds crazy. The Bible couldn’t possibly tell women they need to seduce their husbands, right? Well if you give […]

via Why God Wants You to Seduce Your Husband — Biblical Gender Roles