Toys, Chains and How I First Squirted


When I first met E. I thought I was a freak, and uninhibited in the bedroom. While it’s true that I had no inhibitions (regarding my experiences thus far), I quickly found out how wrong I was about my freak status. Looking back over the last year and a half, I learned so many surprising things about myself. Here are 5 discoveries I recently made:

1. I enjoy being dominant on occasion.  I’m naturally submissive in most facets of my life, and when my husband casually mentioned he likes to be dominated once in awhile I froze. It kind of scared the shit out of me because I had no idea where to begin. I thought it would feel fake or forced, to project a persona that I simply didn’t possess. But I wanted to please him. So I lifted my chin, pulled out our flogger, bound his wrists together and began whipping him. Turns out, I kind of like it.

2. I love my ass being licked.  The first time E. licked my asshole I was both horrified and embarrassed. He sneak attacked me under the covers one night, and I immediately clenched up and forbid him to do that again without permission. Over the next couple weeks he slowly eased me into being comfortable enough to both A) Admit that I liked it and B) Push my ass into his face in lieu of asking for it directly. So ladies (or gents), take my advice. As a former anal virgin myself, you won’t regret trying this one. It just feels so fucking good.

3. Sex toys for couples are fucking fun.   Pre-husband, I’d bought and owned exactly one sex toy my whole life. A nondescript pink vibrator, about as standard as you can get for beginners’ toys. My new favorites include cock rings, nipple clamps and anal beads, depending on my mood. Who knew that toys WITH a partner were so enjoyable?!  Laugh if you want, but believe me, I’m making up for lost time.                                                         ******visit my favorite new site for our go-to’s in bedroom toys.. If you would like a specific recommendation from myself or my husband, contact me!!******

4. I deeply enjoy the feel of chains.   I knew that I liked to be restrained, but I never would have guessed how sexy those heavy chains felt draped across my naked body. Even when they were only placed for aesthetic (as opposed to restraint) something about the weight turns me on and makes me feel like a sex goddess. Every time.

5. I am a squirter.  Until my husband happily proved me wrong, I legit thought that squirting was a myth invented by porn directors. I mean, I’ve always been a multiple-orgasm girl, so if it hadn’t happened by now it probably was fake….right? Nope. Wrong-o. My husband can make me squirt on command, and his record so far (he would insist I point out) is 6 consecutive.

Now that I’ve disclosed my dirty deets, share with me your own! There is always something to learn, and I’m ready to be schooled.

Sexually Active Parenting


We’ve all heard the cautionary tales of couples whose sex life wanes or even disappears after the arrival of children. And while I am only 3 months into motherhood, I can confirm that the struggle is real. Having kids in the house can definitely be a major cock block…but only if you let them. Our oldest is in high school and she unfortunately can’t be fooled by our incessantly loud newlywed fornicating. But our youngest is still young enough to sometimes trick into believing whatever story we tell her in regards to needing “adult time”.

Perhaps it’s only due to my husband and me both fostering junior-high-boy-level sex drives, but we find the most unlikely of opportunities for a quickie on the sly. The bathroom is a favorite of our go-to spots, particularly because E. can bend me over the sink and watch himself take me from behind in the mirror. Also, the bathroom comes standard with a myriad of legitimate sounding excuses such as “we’re going to the bathroom” or “we’re taking a shower” or “daddy is getting dressed”.

I have a feeling though that our youngest is getting to the age where she will figure out what exactly goes on behind closed doors. She has begun questioning our elementary reassurances with valid reasoning.

“But how come your hair isn’t wet?”  (If we claim to be showering)

“But why are you both in there together?”  (If we are using the toilet)

“What is that banging sound I can hear in my room?” (daddy claimed we were exercising. at 12:30am)

“Why are there chains hanging from the ceiling in your bedroom?”  (again, for exercise)

My husband and I agree that while it’s perfectly natural for children to know their parents are physically affectionate the youngest doesn’t need to be told in so many words what a mommy and a daddy do to show their love. And based on her recent suspicions I foresee an upcoming moment of clarity on her part.

But whether or not the children know what’s happening, I strongly believe that their existence shouldn’t deter a couple’s regular fuck-fests. I try to keep the noise down (usually fail) and we try not to make it too obvious for our oldest (she tells me often that she needs supersonic earbuds to block us out) but we never let the challenge best us. When all else fails, basement boning will never let you down, so be brave ladies and give your husband a mid-day basement blow job to spice things up!




My Intro to Anal


cropped-screenshot_2017-04-19-21-24-37When I told him I was an ass virgin, I meant everything. Nothing went in the outbox for 28 years, not a finger, not a tongue, certainly not a penis (though many had asked, a couple even rudely attempted to steal) especially one as big as my then-boyfriend’s. Like many others, he didn’t at first believe that it hadn’t been touched.

“Like not even a little? Not just the tip?”

Nope. It weirded me out, to be honest. I mean, what possible satisfaction could you possibly even GET from my asshole that my mouth and ladybits don’t already provide? I get it’s probably super tight, but I’ve never had kids and I’m naturally small-framed so the downstairs stays pretty compact, if you wanted to know the truth.

So why would you even WANT to play around in the excrement housing department? E claims it’s because nobody has claimed me there (heard that before too) and he wants to own ALL of me, to submit my will to his and trust that he will take care of my body always. Plus, turns out my asshole is aesthetically pleasing, who would have known? I certainly didn’t. Nobody told me my asshole looks naturally bleached (until my kind soon-to-be-betrothed informed me of said bleach-look. Yes, I was surprised and not at all embarrassed thank you. Lie, I totes was embarrassed).

I knew I wanted to give it to someone eventually, I had just been waiting for the man worthy enough to bestow it upon. I knew after a week or two that I was in love with E. and for some reason I can’t figure, I knew I wanted to let him claim my ass. When I was ready. Which could take years. Did I mention I was nervous? Did I mention his dick was the biggest I’d ever had in my whole entire life?

He decided to ease my comfort a bit by slowly getting my asshole familiar with being touched and prodded and rubbed and loved, until I asked for its attention on my own. Keep in mind this whole 2-month intro to ass phase I was having nightmares about shitting all over his hands/face/bed/dick really anything I could picture I hallucinated shitting upon.

The first thing he did was sneak-attack lick my pure, unsuspecting asshole one night just like any other. I did what any other sane person would do and clenched up both cheeks tight as I could, and horrified, I asked him what in the hell he was doing.

“I want to taste you, I want to make you feel good”, he smiled up at me from below the covers.

I contemplated that, let it sink in, until I couldn’t help but ask.

“But WHY do you WANT to lick me there?? I poop out of there…?”

I was genuinely confused and embarrassed and not at all intrigued. I mean, I hadn’t even let him lick long enough for me to determine whether or not I liked it. Plus, WTF? Who likes to give a rim job?  (Spoiler alert: I enjoy both giving and receiving now. E: 1. Me: 0) E understandably seemed disappointed as he put a quick stop to any and all bedroom activities for the evening and went to sleep instead. As bad as I felt for turning him down though, I was relieved to have narrowly escaped my worst nightmare of explosive shitting all over my boyfriend’s very nice face. It would be weeks before I conceded submission and let myself realize that I too enjoy a tongue in and around my ass. I also knew this meant something equally new and nerve wracking involving deflowering my ass was just around the corner, and E was going to pursue the conquest until he’d won it all.

ASS VIRGIN TIP: If she (or he) is brand new to the joys of anal sex, have some patience and give the hole some love before plunging in. If E hadn’t used his tongue to relax me over the course of a couple weeks, I never would have been able to unclench enough to allow devirginization.