Interview With a Man-Freak

 

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THE FREAKY HUSBAND TELLS ALL:

AN UNFILTERED AND SURPRISINGLY INFORMATIVE INTERVIEW

Q: So think back to the very beginning. What was it that first attracted you to me?              A: “Your smile, and your pretty face. I liked that you were hard to get, the ‘untouchable girl’ and I wanted to get to know you. Which was very strange, I’ve never really particularly cared to get to know a hot girl more than I wanted to fuck her. Especially because I was 22 when we met. Also, I knew and liked your mom.”

Q: Aww… also ouch. For all those other girls (FYI, he isn’t as rude as that sounded. He’s actually kinda sweet).  So fast forward 10 years….what surprised you the most about me in bed?                                                                                                                                 A: “That you had never had anal sex (at 28) and I assumed you were lying about it at first. Most girls at that point have had SOME kind of/level of ass play at ALL. You know, just the tip. Something. I was surprised you hadn’t.”

Q: What do I do in bed that turns you on the most?                                                                             A: “Well your pretty face for one. Also, I love the way you show me that I can have whatever I want whenever I want. That turns me on.”

Q: How exactly do I show you that? (its true btw. Its his when he wants it)                               A: “You make suggestive comments while we are out in public that only I can hear. You act like a pretty little housewife until we’re behind closed doors.”

Q: What do you secretly wish I would do more of in bed?                                                         A: “Depends on my mood..if I’m feeling extra freaky I want my ass licked more, and more bondage. If I’m feeling romantic I wish you would let me hold out for longer amounts of time. You always make me finish too soon when I’m feeling lovey (also true btw. I love feeling him come inside me and actively encourage it). I also wish we watched more porn together, but only when you’re in the right mood also..otherwise it’s no fun.”

Q: Is there a particular personality type/quality other than physical that attracts you to a woman?                                                                                                                                                     A: ” Fun, for sure, They have to be fun. Also they need to be classy, and carry themselves well. I can’t stand an obnoxious attention-seeker.”

Q: What calls to you more, a hot body or a beautiful face?                                                                  A: “Face for sure. But body is important too. I’m particular.”

Q: What, if anything, do I do in bed that you dislike and haven’t yet told me?                                 A: “Surprisingly, nothing. It’s never awkward with us, the dirty talk is just right and your sex-noise levels are perfect.”

Q: We have agreed that neither of us is the other’s typical “type” we expected to end up with. What about my so-called “yuppie” type were you surprised to learn and like about me?                                                                                                                                                             A: “You are so much more relatable and down-to-earth than I was expecting.  Not just you but your family, I expected you to be much more high maintenance and snobby, but you aren’t. I like that.”

Q: Do you ever miss any of the parts of my naive and inexperienced former self?                           A: “No. it was awesome to get to be the one to experience everything new with you. And to be the man to blow your fucking mind.”

 

 

Nailed it!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Why God Wants You to Seduce Your Husband — Biblical Gender Roles

Most Christian wives today are taught that their husbands must earn sex with them by romancing them. What if the Bible taught the opposite? What if wives were required to seduce their husbands? I know it sounds crazy. The Bible couldn’t possibly tell women they need to seduce their husbands, right? Well if you give […]

via Why God Wants You to Seduce Your Husband — Biblical Gender Roles

Toys, Chains and How I First Squirted

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When I first met E. I thought I was a freak, and uninhibited in the bedroom. While it’s true that I had no inhibitions (regarding my experiences thus far), I quickly found out how wrong I was about my freak status. Looking back over the last year and a half, I learned so many surprising things about myself. Here are 5 discoveries I recently made:

1. I enjoy being dominant on occasion.  I’m naturally submissive in most facets of my life, and when my husband casually mentioned he likes to be dominated once in awhile I froze. It kind of scared the shit out of me because I had no idea where to begin. I thought it would feel fake or forced, to project a persona that I simply didn’t possess. But I wanted to please him. So I lifted my chin, pulled out our flogger, bound his wrists together and began whipping him. Turns out, I kind of like it.

2. I love my ass being licked.  The first time E. licked my asshole I was both horrified and embarrassed. He sneak attacked me under the covers one night, and I immediately clenched up and forbid him to do that again without permission. Over the next couple weeks he slowly eased me into being comfortable enough to both A) Admit that I liked it and B) Push my ass into his face in lieu of asking for it directly. So ladies (or gents), take my advice. As a former anal virgin myself, you won’t regret trying this one. It just feels so fucking good.

3. Sex toys for couples are fucking fun.   Pre-husband, I’d bought and owned exactly one sex toy my whole life. A nondescript pink vibrator, about as standard as you can get for beginners’ toys. My new favorites include cock rings, nipple clamps and anal beads, depending on my mood. Who knew that toys WITH a partner were so enjoyable?!  Laugh if you want, but believe me, I’m making up for lost time.                                                         ******visit my favorite new site http://www.pigtailsnchains.com for our go-to’s in bedroom toys.. If you would like a specific recommendation from myself or my husband, contact me!!******

4. I deeply enjoy the feel of chains.   I knew that I liked to be restrained, but I never would have guessed how sexy those heavy chains felt draped across my naked body. Even when they were only placed for aesthetic (as opposed to restraint) something about the weight turns me on and makes me feel like a sex goddess. Every time.

5. I am a squirter.  Until my husband happily proved me wrong, I legit thought that squirting was a myth invented by porn directors. I mean, I’ve always been a multiple-orgasm girl, so if it hadn’t happened by now it probably was fake….right? Nope. Wrong-o. My husband can make me squirt on command, and his record so far (he would insist I point out) is 6 consecutive.

Now that I’ve disclosed my dirty deets, share with me your own! There is always something to learn, and I’m ready to be schooled.

Sexually Active Parenting

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We’ve all heard the cautionary tales of couples whose sex life wanes or even disappears after the arrival of children. And while I am only 3 months into motherhood, I can confirm that the struggle is real. Having kids in the house can definitely be a major cock block…but only if you let them. Our oldest is in high school and she unfortunately can’t be fooled by our incessantly loud newlywed fornicating. But our youngest is still young enough to sometimes trick into believing whatever story we tell her in regards to needing “adult time”.

Perhaps it’s only due to my husband and me both fostering junior-high-boy-level sex drives, but we find the most unlikely of opportunities for a quickie on the sly. The bathroom is a favorite of our go-to spots, particularly because E. can bend me over the sink and watch himself take me from behind in the mirror. Also, the bathroom comes standard with a myriad of legitimate sounding excuses such as “we’re going to the bathroom” or “we’re taking a shower” or “daddy is getting dressed”.

I have a feeling though that our youngest is getting to the age where she will figure out what exactly goes on behind closed doors. She has begun questioning our elementary reassurances with valid reasoning.

“But how come your hair isn’t wet?”  (If we claim to be showering)

“But why are you both in there together?”  (If we are using the toilet)

“What is that banging sound I can hear in my room?” (daddy claimed we were exercising. at 12:30am)

“Why are there chains hanging from the ceiling in your bedroom?”  (again, for exercise)

My husband and I agree that while it’s perfectly natural for children to know their parents are physically affectionate the youngest doesn’t need to be told in so many words what a mommy and a daddy do to show their love. And based on her recent suspicions I foresee an upcoming moment of clarity on her part.

But whether or not the children know what’s happening, I strongly believe that their existence shouldn’t deter a couple’s regular fuck-fests. I try to keep the noise down (usually fail) and we try not to make it too obvious for our oldest (she tells me often that she needs supersonic earbuds to block us out) but we never let the challenge best us. When all else fails, basement boning will never let you down, so be brave ladies and give your husband a mid-day basement blow job to spice things up!