Interview With a Man-Freak

 

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THE FREAKY HUSBAND TELLS ALL:

AN UNFILTERED AND SURPRISINGLY INFORMATIVE INTERVIEW

Q: So think back to the very beginning. What was it that first attracted you to me?              A: “Your smile, and your pretty face. I liked that you were hard to get, the ‘untouchable girl’ and I wanted to get to know you. Which was very strange, I’ve never really particularly cared to get to know a hot girl more than I wanted to fuck her. Especially because I was 22 when we met. Also, I knew and liked your mom.”

Q: Aww… also ouch. For all those other girls (FYI, he isn’t as rude as that sounded. He’s actually kinda sweet).  So fast forward 10 years….what surprised you the most about me in bed?                                                                                                                                 A: “That you had never had anal sex (at 28) and I assumed you were lying about it at first. Most girls at that point have had SOME kind of/level of ass play at ALL. You know, just the tip. Something. I was surprised you hadn’t.”

Q: What do I do in bed that turns you on the most?                                                                             A: “Well your pretty face for one. Also, I love the way you show me that I can have whatever I want whenever I want. That turns me on.”

Q: How exactly do I show you that? (its true btw. Its his when he wants it)                               A: “You make suggestive comments while we are out in public that only I can hear. You act like a pretty little housewife until we’re behind closed doors.”

Q: What do you secretly wish I would do more of in bed?                                                         A: “Depends on my mood..if I’m feeling extra freaky I want my ass licked more, and more bondage. If I’m feeling romantic I wish you would let me hold out for longer amounts of time. You always make me finish too soon when I’m feeling lovey (also true btw. I love feeling him come inside me and actively encourage it). I also wish we watched more porn together, but only when you’re in the right mood also..otherwise it’s no fun.”

Q: Is there a particular personality type/quality other than physical that attracts you to a woman?                                                                                                                                                     A: ” Fun, for sure, They have to be fun. Also they need to be classy, and carry themselves well. I can’t stand an obnoxious attention-seeker.”

Q: What calls to you more, a hot body or a beautiful face?                                                                  A: “Face for sure. But body is important too. I’m particular.”

Q: What, if anything, do I do in bed that you dislike and haven’t yet told me?                                 A: “Surprisingly, nothing. It’s never awkward with us, the dirty talk is just right and your sex-noise levels are perfect.”

Q: We have agreed that neither of us is the other’s typical “type” we expected to end up with. What about my so-called “yuppie” type were you surprised to learn and like about me?                                                                                                                                                             A: “You are so much more relatable and down-to-earth than I was expecting.  Not just you but your family, I expected you to be much more high maintenance and snobby, but you aren’t. I like that.”

Q: Do you ever miss any of the parts of my naive and inexperienced former self?                           A: “No. it was awesome to get to be the one to experience everything new with you. And to be the man to blow your fucking mind.”

 

 

Nailed it!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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