We’ve all heard the cautionary tales of couples whose sex life wanes or even disappears after the arrival of children. And while I am only 3 months into motherhood, I can confirm that the struggle is real. Having kids in the house can definitely be a major cock block…but only if you let them. Our oldest is in high school and she unfortunately can’t be fooled by our incessantly loud newlywed fornicating. But our youngest is still young enough to sometimes trick into believing whatever story we tell her in regards to needing “adult time”.
Perhaps it’s only due to my husband and me both fostering junior-high-boy-level sex drives, but we find the most unlikely of opportunities for a quickie on the sly. The bathroom is a favorite of our go-to spots, particularly because E. can bend me over the sink and watch himself take me from behind in the mirror. Also, the bathroom comes standard with a myriad of legitimate sounding excuses such as “we’re going to the bathroom” or “we’re taking a shower” or “daddy is getting dressed”.
I have a feeling though that our youngest is getting to the age where she will figure out what exactly goes on behind closed doors. She has begun questioning our elementary reassurances with valid reasoning.
“But how come your hair isn’t wet?” (If we claim to be showering)
“But why are you both in there together?” (If we are using the toilet)
“What is that banging sound I can hear in my room?” (daddy claimed we were exercising. at 12:30am)
“Why are there chains hanging from the ceiling in your bedroom?” (again, for exercise)
My husband and I agree that while it’s perfectly natural for children to know their parents are physically affectionate the youngest doesn’t need to be told in so many words what a mommy and a daddy do to show their love. And based on her recent suspicions I foresee an upcoming moment of clarity on her part.
But whether or not the children know what’s happening, I strongly believe that their existence shouldn’t deter a couple’s regular fuck-fests. I try to keep the noise down (usually fail) and we try not to make it too obvious for our oldest (she tells me often that she needs supersonic earbuds to block us out) but we never let the challenge best us. When all else fails, basement boning will never let you down, so be brave ladies and give your husband a mid-day basement blow job to spice things up!